i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize