its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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