Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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