No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
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New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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