Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize