sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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