every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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