No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize