bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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