dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I met the friendliest cop last night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
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The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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