the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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