i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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