I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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