why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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