i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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