Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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