so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
ok first of all what the fuck
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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