Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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