She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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