8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize