And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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