i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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