I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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