very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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