Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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