Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he was CRYING into my vagina
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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