remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize