Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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