in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He better not be in your backpack
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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