So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize