PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize