come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize