She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize