Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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