ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize