we have pet lesbian snakes
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize