The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize