She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
