she was so not down for the gang bang
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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