I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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