When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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