You made me cry and you don't even care
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
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No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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