she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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