i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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