i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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