my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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