I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize