so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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