after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
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I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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