yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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