Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize