do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize